Last month Mark was away due to Army work so I spent the month solo-parenting. I kept that information off the internet as much as I could for safety reasons but I'm sure it wasn't exactly hard to figure out he was gone either! I'm thankful that I was surrounded by family and friends to lean on for support and adult contact but it was still a long month! I'm happy that I have a partner for support on a daily basis because I don't know how single parents do it long term. I was wiped out by the end! It opened my eyes to how I can be helping out other friends when they're going through trying times or when they are parenting on their own for any length of time. I reached out to a few friends who were in different situations than me to see what other ideas we could come up with. One of those friends is a single parent full-time and I bow down to her ability to handle all the chaos of parenting by herself. The other friend has 11 kids so I value her opinion as a parent in every single way! This would be a great list to come back to if you have friends who are single parents or friends who are solo-parenting for a chunk of time.
- Offer to take their kids to school, daycare, or sports practices so that way they don't have to for the day!
- Bring them their favorite drink. Coffee, tea, ice cold soda, maybe even a bottle of wine would always be accepted! Even chocolate is a great gift to help them through the day.
- Give them a chance to have a night out or even a few hours kid-free so they can refresh their nerves!
- Give them all the understanding and love you can muster up. Being a parent takes so much grace so feeling that extra love from friends is exactly what we could all use. I'm often late and forgetful or show up acting like a hot mess which takes understanding. I also can act very unloveable when my whole life feels like chaos so that's when I need to be covered in extra love.
- Offer to bring them a meal or even just dessert! It could be picking up their favorite food or just making a double batch of whatever you cooked for supper so you can drop it off when you're done. On any given day I'd love to avoid figuring out what to cook for supper but it's especially true when I'm alone with the boys because it almost feels like a waste to cook a full meal. They eat a ton but they would eat PB&J's all day long if they could so the effort doesn't always feel worth it.
- Take them out for some pampering. Get your nails done or go to a spa if you can afford it! Or in my case, an at-home spa is much more up my budget alley. Doing facials or mani/pedis together would give some much needed friend interaction!
- Invite the kids over to play and let it be known that your friend can stay if they want or head home to get things done. So many times I just needed an hour kid-free to get the house back in order! Sometimes I need to get out of my own house and just not look at the mess one second longer.
- Wine or beer night when their significant other gets home! It's good bonding time with the kiddos for their significant other and it gives them time to decompress. Give them a few days to reconnect and then invite them out! If they're a single parent then find a babysitter for all the kiddos so they don't have to worry about finding someone to watch their kid just to have some time away.
- Show up and ask them what you can help with. Don't take no for an answer! There is always something we could use help with as parents but often times we are too stubborn to ask for help. Some people may be buried in laundry or dishes. Some people may need help tackling more deep cleaning that they haven't had a chance to touch in way too long. Some people just need someone to play with their kids while they binge on Netflix and social media for an hour or two. Put your foot down until you get at least one task from them!
What would you add to this list?
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